How can a day that started out so self-esteemingly well, end up not so great?
First, please excuse any made up words and/or typos as I am currently drunk blogging. Sorry, it was either drunk blog or no Friday Rap Up.
Earlier today I was on cloud nine, I went to my weight loss doctor and found out I've lost 10 pounds in the last month. Yay for Tracie! Earlier in the week a couple of my female writing cohorts and I decided that we'd go out for "girls night" this week.
I think I now remember why I stopped going out. At first I was having a good time; it wasn't until the end of the night (in a drunken state) that I realized not one guy had tried to talk to me. I mean, c'mon guys, really? I have a new haircut, I just lost 10 pounds, I'm cute, and I had on strappy heels (at first, child I had to switch to flip flops as soon as we got in there - YES, I brought flip-flops to the club!). So dudes, what the eff?
So now I'm in a not so yay mood. I'm drunk, tired, my hair isn't cute anymore, and for what? Nothing. This whole "Black Hollywood" image that ATL is adopting is not so good for me. I've done L.A, men don't like me out there. ATL must be following suit. I may need to move back to the CHI where they like their women homegrown.
Anyway, here's the rap up. It's not funny. It's rather sad, I think. I'm gonna go cry myself to the toilet, throw up, and then cry myself to sleep.
**I usually take off my glasses when I do my rap ups, but I forgot and didn't wanna do it over, so whatev.**
Friday, September 21, 2007
Friday Rap Up - I musta lost it.
Posted by Tracie Mae at 4:53 AM
Labels: clubbin', friday rap up, men, self-esteem
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12 comments:
Further confirmation that men will NEVA get women:
We holla in prodigous numbers, y'all complain.
We respect yo space and stay outta yo face, y'all complain.
The real question is this: Being the Tracie Mae girl that you are, did you take the initiative and engage any of them?!
Let's keep it real, now! (Do people still say "Keep it real"?)
Oh, and if you take your transplanted hind parts to bed at a reasonable hour (up bloggin' at 4 in the dang mornin'?!), maybe you'd appear more effervescent and alluring in those social settings, gal!
(Really it's proly that the word is out about me, you and Thic and brothers just know betta than to step to you.)
Directly to the point:
Shake off the haters. If you don't know it, lemme help you understand: you're GORGEOUS! Based on the recent pix you've posted, you're definitely a hot girl, 10 lbs heavier or not.
As a dude, it always trips me out how my cohorts'll be like "all I date is dimes." My response, sometimes internal, sometimes live is "what makes her a dime-piece?"
Is it that she f***ed on the first date, is it that she drives the latest whip, is it that she shakes a mean ass at the club? Or is it that she's a dime because in your eyes she's hot as hell, has class, self-respect, real-life goals and behaves like a woman, not a 13-year old (no offense to the adolescents)?
If the definition is the latter, you Tracie, are a dime, because you're obviously attractive, obviously bright, and obviously motivated to achieve a real-life goal.
If the high-post cats in ATL can't appreciate you, too bad for them. Black Hollywood is right: fake, phony, and make-believe. Chalk it up to way too many music videos with chicks in bikinis outdoors in the dead of winter. Beauty is about way more than that.
Sure, I love a video chick as much as the next red-blooded black man, but let's have real talk: I -- and many other men -- also love the everyday size 16 chick who is strolling down 8th Avenue, in jeans and a tee, with confidence and class. Effortlessness, and confidence is what it's all about. At least it is for the thinking men among us...
Do you. You look great.
Peace,
Tony
The Hustla
Nupe - I'm not really the "step to dudes" type of girl, never had to be. I'll step to dudes online in a minute; in real life you need something extra (it's called skinniness). And I don't think any dude in there was respecting my space, because they weren't respecting my friends' space.
I was up late cuz we didn't get back from the club til 3:30a or something, had to do my rap up.
Hustla - Thank you for the kind words. Yeah, I know some dudes still appreciate the "everyday chick," I just have to come to terms that I'm now one of them.
UPDATE: Never cried; threw up twice (Krystal Chiks must not sit well with tequila.)
you poor baby, i got your text just now and all i can say is that both boys and tequila can wear on a girl after a while...but all i can say is that the guys you get in a club aren't the guys you want in life, and any guy that meets you in life is going to appreciate that you're brilliantly funny, well-spoken, creative, and unbelievably motivated. you're the package, not just a pair of tits and an ass. and also, i think they just need to see some of that bad-ass Tracie Mae confidence we see in class : )
wow, i sound redundant.
got to learn to proofread, and not blog comment hungover.
TMae, them fools that didn't step up where doing you a favor, they prolly all got long names or some shit like that. I hate that "If I was single I would...." shit so I wont say that first part. When I come to ATL, we gonna do it real big cause I appreciate you. Matter of fact your new nickname is Lex. As in "The Total Package" Lex Luger (do yo WCW homework)
*hugs, daps, butt bumps*
Oh, and if you EVER go to the Apache on Wednesday night, tell the host Crazy that Jigga said, HOLLA. (wink)
I admire your openness and transparency...
And I couldn't rap that well sober (smile)!
I feel you on the weight loss thing...after two children (one pregnancy), I've been feeling the pressure to return to my pre-pregnancy weight and it has been difficult. I've increased my cardio exercise and try to eat healthy. My problem is portion control! I'm doing Allure's Total Makeover Challenge (www.allure.com/makeover) but haven't been diligent in logging my meals. Sigh...
I have a new outlook: I've decided to work on being healthy as opposed to skinny. Most crack heads are skinny, but are they healthy?
Point taken Sage. I'm gonna go check that challenge out, thanks for the info.
Tracie Mae, you've just gotta accept that the wiser you get, the more a-holes you eliminate. You think the guys don't know you're out of their league? It's a natural weeding out process. The ones who will actually step up--and they'll be fewer and farther between--will be the quality guys you won't have to waste time with.
I know this is hella late and you're probably feelin a whole lot better, but had I read this in a timely matter this is what I would have said...
Tracie!!! Where've you been?!! *pulls back the velvet rope* This is the EXACT reason why I don't go to clubs. I'm am gorgeous in the light of day, but apparently not so much in a dark room full of half naked chicks. I start feeling like discount beef in a meat market.
I don't have to tell you how fly you are because everyone before me already has. And I know that no matter what folks say, when you feelin like you've been passed up all night aint a damn thing folks can say that will resonate louder than percieved rejection. All I can say is, this too shall pass because you definitely still got it.
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