Monday, November 17, 2008

I don't want to be famous.

Youtube is weird.
People think they know me.
People want to know me.
People recognize me when I'm out.
All because I talk about my life on the internet.
Wait.
When it's written like that, it doesn't sound so smart.
It sounds like something my mother would warn me not to do.
"Don't do that Tray, you never know who's watching you." My mom would say.
And she may be right.
I mean, I'm normal.
But that doesn't mean that some weirdo-maniac-stalker type person isn't out there in youtube-land falling in love with me.
And all my different hair-do's.
I've already had one semi-nice-but-also-strange guy call me his "cyber wife," uhm, what's your name? Because I don't know you and I never got my wedding ring.
I've had people try to get my address to send me "gifts."
I've had people recommend places and times and dates for me to go out to eat, probably because they were sitting there with knife and binding rope in hand.
I've had people try to offer me jobs on TV, all they needed me to do is meet them for an "interview."
I mean, don't get me wrong, I understand that I'm out there in the world now.
People tune into me. People miss me when I'm gone (or at least they say they do).
I have 2051 people who subscribe to my videos (as of Nov. 17th). And there's probably 2040 people subscribed to me whom I've never met in person.
I like making my videos.
But I don't want to be famous.
I don't want to be famous enough for people to want to sleep outside my house until they die. I don't want to be famous enough that my life isn't just my own anymore.
Can youtube do that?
You bet your life it can.

3 comments:

Bianca said...

I feel ya on that Tracie Mae.

Saule Wright said...

Lex, we can chew on this topic for a LONG ass time. We are so much alike its crazy, and I feel you. The very reason my channel has 3 videos and none of the tags are linked to shit anyone can find. The same reason I been sitting on 5 interviews with artists for months now...I aint cut out for that. Not yet....

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