Saturday, November 15, 2008

What's the skinny on me?


I wish I could look that happy on a scale.
I've been struggling with my weight since I can remember. I grew up on Jenny Craig food (because my mom was dieting, not me) and skim milk. And when my mom and I moved from Chicago to Mississippi, she started cooking a lot of things I just wouldn't eat. I can remember coming home from school one day and my mom was de-furring a DEER in our kitchen, that her husband had hit with his car (I think on purpose) on his way home. And if that doesn't make you want to live in Mississippi, try cooked squirrel and rabbit and ew, raccoon. Needless to say, when I got a car, any fast food place was where I was headed. So I fell into a fast food trap. I don't dislike any fast food. As much as I try. My least favorite place is Arby's, but if I went there I could find something I like easily.
In my family, there are the big women (me, one of my cousins, my mom, and my gramma) and the skinnies (everybody else). I guess I'm not as big as I used to be; I have dropped a pants size from this time last year. But I'm no where near where I want to be. Where I've resolved to be every New Year since I was 18. This weight thing has claimed so much of my life. I've tried everything, too. I guess the only thing I can to is keep trying.

Side note: Is it wrong that I have a pair of skinny jeans? heh.

6 comments:

kuh reel yuh said...

yeah, i really don't get the whole losing weight thing. and then i hate seeing those articles: "i lost 150 lbs in one year!" whatever...

gotta start thinking positively though. at least you're smaller than last year. and even if you go at the same pace, this time next year, you'll be even smaller, right? don't you realize, you are a champion?! (c)kanye lol

80sBaby70sSoul said...

Hey Tracie. I wish there was a scale for happy, too! Since I've been in graduate school I have gained 30 pounds. Thank GOD I'm about to graduate next month so I can get my body back. I can understand your struggle with food because its so hard to find cheap and healthy eats! And yes, its ok to have some skinny jeans!

Just take baby steps. First get used to making healthier food choices and then add in some more exercise. And don't be discouraged by the other large women in your family and think this is genetic. You are in control!

P.S. I love your youtube videos! I plan on doing a big chop in march since I've never experienced my natural hair outside of it being locked. Maybe you could give a sista some tips!

Saule Wright said...

MAN, I just want to be happy and comfortable with ME. This size or smaller, I don't care...I just miss being genuinely happy and carefree. I'm always pulling at clothes or covering something or walking a certain way so I'm not as big as I am.....blah.

Kenya Says said...

Girl you better rock yo' skinny jeans!

fromac said...

Yea tracie I wish I could be happy on a scale as well. But I'm just seventeen so I know you're wondering, "Why is she worried about her weight at THAT age." Yes that is a good question. I'm just so self-conscious about my weight. Even though everybody say's im not even big, I'm still frantic about it. But other than that, I think you're so beautiful girl. You're a person I could chill with anyday. So just love yourself..no matter what ya dig!

naturalbri said...

I got skinny jeans too...two pair and love them! Nothing wrong at all about having them.