Such a pretty face

It seems like forever ago when I didn't worry about my weight. When gymnastics and cheerleading was all I knew, or ever cared about for that matter. But now, I'm just that girl; the "thick" girl who tries to act like she doesn't care about it, but secretly does. I've made so many excuses: my mean ex, birth control, hanging with skinny people who love to eat, no more gymnastics or cheerleading. But what I've yet to do is DO SOMETHING about it. I can never keep up with a diet and workout regimen. It just seems so impossible. Mentally, I'm just not there, yet I want nothing more.

It's so funny that bigger people know every way to lose weight. When my friend Jade was getting married, she consulted me on weight loss tips!! Mind you, she's always been like a size 2 but is probably now a size 4 or 6. We figured out that she used to eat every 2 hours or so, but she'd recently started only eating once a day, thus slowing her metabolism.

Such a perfectionist, and this one thing I just cannot get right. It defeats me everytime. Because no matter my efforts, one slip up and it's all over for me. For example, I lost 7 pounds over break. As of this morning, I have now gained those 7 pounds back. UGGGHHHHH!!!! Why oh why? I know why, but why me?

I guess there are so many other bad cards I could've been dealt. I could be looking like Flavor Flav right about now.

Maybe I should start taking comfort when people say, "You have such a pretty face." Gee, thanks.