Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Twas the day after Christmas...

...and my back really hurt; it's supposed to be good that my mother's a nurse.

Actually, I woke up on Christmas day with a pain in my upper back. It felt like a muscle sprain or something of the sort. My mom gave me some pills last night and when I woke up this morning I was actually okay (sort of). My mom and I were off to try to grab some post-holiday deals and when I turned my head, put my hand on the headrest of the passenger seat, and started to back my car out of the driveway, the pain returned - FULL FORCE! It really caught me off guard, I even lost my breath for a minute. And I have a high threshold for pain, brought about from years of my mother telling me to count to ten when I hurt myself before she'd do anything about it, but I digress. My mom was convinced my pain was not a muscle sprain, but gas.

This is our conversation at Target:

Mom: What you need is some Tums or Mylanta.

Me: What? What kind of solution is that to a sprain?

Mom: That's not a sprain, you ate too much macaroni and cheese yesterday.

Me: Is this what you tell your patients? Like oh, you have a bone protruding from your leg, must be gas. I'll get the Tums, but in the meanwhile do some jumping jacks!

Mom: Remember when you were little how I used to make you run around the house to get things moving? It works.

Me: Can we not talk about this now, please.

Mom: Is it the upper back or lower back?

Me: Upper, like in between my shoulder blades.

Mom: Mmmm hmmmm, gas.

Me: How is that gas? You would've said it was gas no matter what I said.

Mom: (to cashier) Do you not have Tums up here?

Cashier: No ma'am, not up here.

Me: *spewing evil eye darts at mom*

Mom: (whispers to cashier) She doesn't want you to know that she has gas.

Me: (internally) WTF...I DO NOT HAVE EFFIN GAS!!

Cashier: *uneasy giggle*

Me: Wow.

Mom: We're gonna have to hurry up because I need to release my bladder.

Me: Double wow.

Let's just say, I can't wait to embarass my kids. Oh, it must be much fun if my mom is still doing it and I'm 27 years old. Geez!!


mer said...

I am sorry you had such pains on Christmas and after. Whatever the pain was caused from, I am sure that was super not fun.

Second. Trust me when I say I know embarrassing mothers can be. My mother is the same way. So not cool.

Hope you feel better.

Anonymous said...

lol... well was it gas?! LMAO Gotta love the parentals... you look so mich your mom too!

Tracie Mae said...

@Patrice - I don't know, it could've been. My back isn't hurting today. But she didn't have to put me on blast like that, though.

anonymousnupe said...

It's proly a tumor.