Is that all it takes?

Earlier today Lynn and I risked our lives by doing a photo shoot in an abandoned building with a homeless lady sleeping in there. (There was a water bottle filled with pee in there, too.) She told Lynn if she'd known we were coming she would've cleaned up a little bit; awwwww. Anyway, Lynn had a make-up artist come over and get my face ready for the shoot. So for the shoot I looked like this:

After we were finished with the shoot, I had to go grocery shopping. I wiped off most of the makeup; the only remaining fragments were my still stained lips and fake eyelashes. So I looked a little something like this:

When I'm telling you I found the secret, I found the freakin secret. So, apparently, eyelashes are the thing; I'm guessing. In Kroger (the same Kroger where I've been shopping since May) not only one, but two guys tried to talk to me. I felt like I was in highschool again! One guy was an employee who asked, "When will I see you again?" I replied, "You've seen me every other week, this is my Kroger, where I shop." "I've never seen you before, I would've remembered," he yelled back as I pushed the cart away trying to hide my disbelief in the power of the eyelashes.

The second guy stalked me for a while. I didn't notice him doing it though, HE TOLD ME. Teehee. He even said he was scared to talk to me, like who the hell am I? Beyonce? Yes. I. Am. *wink, with one humongous eyelash* He introduced himself and we talked for a quick second before he asked if he could take me out sometime. "Possibly," I said. Dude looked young. He told me he went to Grambling so I'm guessing he's at least 23 or 24, but I don't know. We exchanged numbers and that was that.

**SIDEBAR** See, that's the thing about meeting people in person, I really don't remember dude's name, don't know how old he is, and in a short while I probably won't remember what he looks like. Online, though, I can research a dude.

When I got home, I had to take pictures forever preserving the day when Tracie's eyelashes helped get her groove back.

King Kong.

If you know me, you know I'm not much of a movie-goer. I used to go a lot with "the ex" but mostly because he wanted to see something. I'm just a TV show watcher mainly. The last movie I saw was Oceans 13 (Lynn had to peel me away from a TV show to go). Most of the movies I see are when none of my shows are on and I'm just channel surfing (or when somebody makes me watch something with them).

So anywhooo, I just finished watching King Kong for the first time. Ever. I never even saw the original. And I remember wanting to see this new one when it came out, but like I said, I'm not really a movie-goer. I did, however, ride the King Kong ride at Universal Studios some years back. It came on HBO and I didn't see it from the beginning, so I don't really know the whole story. But...

Was it just me (being the single girl that I am) or was King Kong the strongest, most chivalrous, beast ever?!?!? I mean, okay, so he wasn't that cute, but homie could protect me anyday. And was this a love story? Did she love Kong? I never figured that out, but I know I did. I was (eyes filled with tears) yelling, "Leave him ALOOOONNNNEEEEE!" I know it could have never happened but I was hoping for the blond chick and Kong to go off and have some kiddie-kongs.

In the end, I was upset when Kong fell to his death. It was almost as if I was watching the last gentleman in the world perish. I mean, he saved her from like 4 T-Rex's and who knows how many other beasts that obviously preferred white meat. And c'mon people, he was learning sign language and everything. Kong would've done anything for blond chick, anything to protect her.

Add that to the list of what I like in a beast, er, man.

Friday Rap Up - I'ma stop looking...

I've decided to just stop looking. You know how they say once you stop looking for something, whatever you were looking for will find you. So that, my friends, is what I'm going to do. I still would like to go different places around Atlanta though, get out of the house and do things, but I think I'm gonna start just focusing on me.

I've made a schedule for my everyday life that if I can follow, should get me to where I want to be educationally, physically, and domestically. I've scheduled myself to work out 4 times a week, time to go to the grocery store, and I've even scheduled a night to go out and do something fun. My birthday is quickly approaching and I don't want my life to be focused on having a man, I want to be focused on being the best me I can be. I'm numero uno to me, I need to start acting like it.

Soooo here's my rhyme.
Enjoy!

Something new....

Maybe I should actually venture out into the world, the world of regular dating. You know, the world where you don't need an internet connection to meet someone, the world where you meet someone and hear their voice at the same time, the world where the first meeting is already out of the way. It sounds effin great right about now! I'm so tired of this whole routine, looking at profiles, updating my own, talking on the phone about meeting (but never actually doing it).

So I was thinking, maybe I should try to visit a new place every week. On my own or with friends, whatever. I'm not sure of where I'd go every week, or even if I'd have the time to do any of this. Right now it's just a thought, but I do need to get out more.

Any suggestions? (Atlanta area only please)

My meeting with Strongman...

Didn't happen, AGAIN - for the third weekend in a row.
As far as I'm concerned 3 strikes and you're out.

We were supposed to meet today - he never told me what time he wanted to meet and when I asked him yesterday, he had no idea of what he wanted us to do, but he hinted around at doing something at the park (during the day).

So at 6:20 PM (!!!) I received a text from him. Here's the convo:

Strong - Hey Ma!

Me - Hey

Strong - Sorry I hit you so late. What are you doing?

Me - Just catching up on homework stuff.

Strong - Don't laugh. This weekend was not good.

Me - I'm not laughing.

Strong - I will make it up.

Me - No need.

Strong - Damn.

Me - The excitement has passed.

Strong - One more chance. Please!

Me - It's too late, I know what your thing is now.

Strong - What's my thing?

Me - You're the guy that doesn't keep his word.

Strong - I'm sorry.

Me - I know.

Strongman

I don't know y'all. Something is up. Remember when I told y'all that he was really nice and sweet? Well, that hasn't changed one single bit. It's just that we've been talking on the phone for almost 3 weeks now and we haven't seen each other yet. In my many months of experience in online dating I've never run across this scenario. Usually guys can't wait to meet in person. Strongman, though, is taking his sweet time trying to see me. The first week I wanted to meet up with him at the Taste of Atlanta, he was busy. The next weeked was his college homecoming, busy. And now, coming up on weekend numero tres plans are very iffy. He's saying we're definitely going to see each other, but I'm not holding my breath.

I really don't want to give up on this one though. He's so sweet to me; if he was just okay on the sweetness scale he woulda been gone a long time ago. But if we don't meet this weekend he'll be where? To the left, to the left.

In addition: He could be married with like 5 kids or something...geez.

Yesterday...

...was the day of random people calling me.
The ex called. Left a message saying something about my rap skills - whatever.

Then, "Mr. Long Name" called. I haven't talked to him since I wrote that blog (over a month ago), his message was extra pitiful, so I thought I'd put it here for everyone's enjoyment:

"Yeah wassup with you, this is Darnell. I've been hittin' you up, but I give up...cuz you never pick up. So, I'll never call you again, it was nice talking to you, you had good conversation at first, but I understand where this is going. So uhm, you have a good life, I wish you the best in school, I wish you the best with God, and I wish you the best in life. Alright Tracie, peace out."

ugh.

Cast of Fools...and my new crush

I recently realized that I haven't mentioned a lot of the man drama I've been going through while online dating in Atlanta on my blog. These guys are in fact characters in the story of my life (not major players, more like extras); let me introduce you:

"Ding Ding Guy" - We met for drinks at a nearby restaurant, had a blast. He seemed really cool and we talked so long we closed one restaurant down and decided to go to a bar for some extra talk time. I had a drink, he had a drink. When he drove me back to my car (parked at the other restaurant's parking lot), we talked more. I remember saying, "I'm so glad you're a regular guy." We parked and as I was telling some story I was looking out of the passenger side window, when I turned back to face him, his ding ding had emerged! (And had the nerve to be glistening in the moonlight!) I said, "What the hell are you doing?" He replied, "Aw c'mon girl, you know you want this." I ran.

"Rape Victim" - I only talked to this guy a couple of times on the phone, but he made me laugh (which I love) so I thought he had potential. On our second conversation, though, he told me he had something important to talk to me about, uh-oh. Well, apparently last year he was drunk at a party and a girl that wanted to be with him took advantage of his drunken state and "raped" him. And now there's a baby, which he doesn't believe is his, but is "too busy" to get a test done. AND after telling this whole story he had the audacity to say, "...but I'm drama free."

And I've already introduced you to "Mr. Long Name."

The losers are plentiful, but on the flip side there may soon be a good character added to my story. For now I'll call him "Strongman." Looking back, I haven't really met any "nice guys" online. They all seem damaged a bit - cocky, arrogant, gross, or angry because they "shouldn't be single." But this guy, "Strongman," approached me with respect from the very beginning. We've talked on the phone a couple of times already and I don't think there hasn't been a conversation between us where I haven't said, "Awwwww..." - because he's always saying sweet things. He's just super nice (plus he gets my silly side) and it feels good to finally feel excited about a man again. I guess I have a crush. Hopefully you'll hear more (good things) about my "Strongman." (insert girly giggle here)

Friday Rap Up - I musta lost it.

How can a day that started out so self-esteemingly well, end up not so great?
First, please excuse any made up words and/or typos as I am currently drunk blogging. Sorry, it was either drunk blog or no Friday Rap Up.

Earlier today I was on cloud nine, I went to my weight loss doctor and found out I've lost 10 pounds in the last month. Yay for Tracie! Earlier in the week a couple of my female writing cohorts and I decided that we'd go out for "girls night" this week.

I think I now remember why I stopped going out. At first I was having a good time; it wasn't until the end of the night (in a drunken state) that I realized not one guy had tried to talk to me. I mean, c'mon guys, really? I have a new haircut, I just lost 10 pounds, I'm cute, and I had on strappy heels (at first, child I had to switch to flip flops as soon as we got in there - YES, I brought flip-flops to the club!). So dudes, what the eff?

So now I'm in a not so yay mood. I'm drunk, tired, my hair isn't cute anymore, and for what? Nothing. This whole "Black Hollywood" image that ATL is adopting is not so good for me. I've done L.A, men don't like me out there. ATL must be following suit. I may need to move back to the CHI where they like their women homegrown.

Anyway, here's the rap up. It's not funny. It's rather sad, I think. I'm gonna go cry myself to the toilet, throw up, and then cry myself to sleep.
**I usually take off my glasses when I do my rap ups, but I forgot and didn't wanna do it over, so whatev.**

Mr. Long Name

Hello, my name is Tracie and I'm an online dater. (Hi, Tracie) Occasionally, I come across some really strange people. Now that my blogging class is officially over, I thought I'd start adding these strange encounters I have with men online.

A couple of days ago I met a guy from Chicago (my hometown) online. I thought he was still in Chicago because the location on his profile said so. After going back and forth with him with notes and messages, and finding out he was in Atlanta, we had a one on one chat. I told him my name, Tracie, and he wrote, "My name is long." I asked, "Your name is Long?" He said, "No, my name has a nice length - I have a long name."

Uhmmmm, okay.
I asked him, "So do you think I won't be able to pronounce it?" He changed the subject, we kept talking, and I kind of forgot all about it. He asked for my number and when he called I remembered that I still didn't know his name. I asked if he was ever gonna tell me, and he said, "Well, my short name is Darnell." Huh? WTF?

I mean, who says, "My short name is...?" You just tell people your name and then say, "...but people call me..." right? I don't care if your name is Boobootayrammalammadingdong, when people ask for your name, you tell them your whole name, and then you tell them, "...but people call me Boo."

Just a word of advice for all you long-named guys out there: give women the benefit of the doubt. We can pronounce all kinds of coffee drinks, weave types, clothing and shoe designers; I'm sure we can pronounce your effed up name too. GEEZ!

This is why I only date during break. These jacked up dudes aren't gonna be messing with my mind during school.

I attract...

big guys,
old guys,
David Banner beard guys,
weird guys,
broke guys,
wearing gold grill guys,
short guys,
mean guys,
bad body odor guys,
gay guys,
thug guys,
girlfriend having guys,
guys that show their ding dings,
guys that do insane things,
still I'm looking, but why,
for that perfect guy.

New York Men...

...have the sexiest accent. Put that on the list of things I like in a guy.