Thursday, August 23, 2007

Thursday 13


13 reasons why EXERCISE and I don't get along: (in random order)

1. Sweat activates my hair's natural curl pattern (increasing nappage).

2. Treadmills have a weight limit (I've convinced myself that I exceed it).

3. My boobies laugh at the alleged support of sports bras.

4. I think endurance is a TV show on the Discovery Kids channel.

5. During workout "water breaks" I grab a Snicker bar.

6. I like to breathe, normally.

7. When I wear workout shorts they ride up in the middle ultimately causing RITs (Raw Inner Thighs). *If your thighs don't touch, know how blessed you are to never have experienced RITs.*

8. You can't workout in scrubs; I've tried.

9. I've learned that when my body overheats, my old disease flares up. My body actually rejects burning calories.

10. In order to relieve soreness from a hard workout you have to workout AGAIN. That's a conspiracy in itself.

11. I'd have to wake up earlier to fit exercise in, or miss something TOTALLY AWESOME on primetime TV that night (I prefer to do neither).

12. I've been known to pass out in extreme heat. So during a video workout when I start to feel faint, I sit down and watch the tape to the end.

13. It makes me extra aware of my uber-jiggliness. In the end, I get pissed and start eating my favorite ice cream.

9 comments:

chrissy said...

First! Are RITs better than UTIs?

Tracie said...

Uhmmmm, dang, that's a good question Chrissy. They are equally uncomfortable, however at least with an UTI you can walk normally.

With RITs you're thighs must be apart at all times otherwise you'll reactivate the rawness and more pain will ensue.

Prescription pills, water, and cranberry juice heals UTI's. Vaseline, bandaids and layin up spread eagle heals RITs. Which is better? You decide.

minus five said...

i feel your pain. i was the same way when i lived in car culture. the only thing that saved me was moving to ny and having to walk every day. i love it so much that i try to walk everywhere. if i ever move away from this place, i'll be completely screwed.

gyms are boring and forget attempting anything in your own apartment. we all know that never works. there's no easy solutions, so maybe you'll just get a job in a walking city when you're done with school. it's something to tell yourself anyway.

Tracie said...

Yeah, or maybe I'll just be like Mo'Nique and accept my jelly (cuz jam don't shake like that).

Nahhhhh, walking city it is.

Anonymous said...

"increasing nappage"
That comment alone had me

Gil

Mahogany Brown said...

WOW...I don't even know where to begin lol!! Ok how bout here: I think anyone who has thighs that DON'T touch look kinda gross. I mean there is nothing natural about being able to see STRAIGHT THROUGH your crotch ROFL!!!

Oh and I think your boobies and my boobies find the same things funny lol. I didn't realize that a sports bra was supposed to be worn INSTEAD of a regular bra and not in ADDITION TO one until I was like 22 ROFL!!!

Cokoa Chanel said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That is ALL I can do!!! I got my co-workers cracking up!!

T. Budnik said...

Okay, that whole thing about people's thighs NOT rubbing is a myth. I was a high school senior flipping through an issue of "Shape" magazine and it mentioned thighs rubbing together like it wasn't normal. And I was dumbfounded. Some people's thighs DON'T rub together? No way!

-T.

BLESSD1 said...

This post was HILARIOUS!!! I heard about your spot from Jia. I'm gonna make sure to keep checking you out, doll :-)